Star Trek Into Darkness – 2013

startrekDispensing with the title system used by the previous ten Star Trek films, Into Darkness continues where the 2009 film left off, in a parallel universe with no major differences except that Spock now exists twice. A useful fall back for the writers when actual exposition or ingenious schemes are too difficult.

Director JJ Abrams pushes his cinematographer to add more lens flare, rendering scenes blindingly blue to the point of obscuring who is speaking. An honourable mention goes to every single lens flare added manually to a CGI shot. By the next film I reckon the screen will be 50% flare.

Apparently the Enterprise now goes where “no one has gone before”. In a move of outstanding equality and political correctness Into Darkness also features two female characters, one of whom gets naked, the other one fawns over Spock. Additionally prepare for a crew containing more aliens than people of colour.

Speaking of which, this parallel universe, which only branched off at the point of attack on the USS Kelvin about thirty years before this film is set apparently now has the power to change the race of previously established dual-universe characters on a whim. Although with Scotty now speaking in a, debatable, accent and McCoy slipping in and out of Texan one wonders just how multicultural San Francisco is at this stardate.

With more banter than ever before it’s no surprise that the crew of the Enterprise is often caught off-guard as our terrifying super-villain maniac John Harrison interrupts them in the middle of some high-quality bickering and manly bonding.

Anticipation is apparently not something that is necessary in a film these days. Watch in wonder as the ending is pre-determined from halfway through the film by the magical process of reusing scripts from previous films.

Spock and Uhura are still dating, miraculously. Their relationship is somewhat awkward and serves only to create yet more inter-crew bickering. After fifty years of homo-erotic undertones Star Trek is now an exclusively heterosexual place. Unless you’re counting all of that concerned, brotherly love.

As a Star Wars and a Star Trek fan there is something essentially wrong about Kirk flying through a small gap in a debris field by turning his small, circular, not-at-all-similar-to-the-Millenium-Falcon vessel sideways.

A film best seen in cinemas. Revel in the four-dimensional viewing experience as die-hard Trekkies will quote along with a film they have never seen before, hum the theme tune at random intervals and groan confusedly as Uhura continues to kiss Spock.


2 thoughts on “Star Trek Into Darkness – 2013

  1. Birdy

    If I am honest, I think it was pretty darn good, so I am going to take a stand and disagree.
    So first things first – the bits you got plain wrong: first of all Vulcan has been destroyed, which I call a major difference. Second, I think there was about the same amount of lens flare as JJ’s first outing, the new trick was the pixie dust the Enterprise leaves behind it. Third, you can’t count – there are plenty of women. Most of them get sucked out into space, but you can’t discount the two that are sharing a bed with Kirk at the beginning. Oh, and one of the other ship captains was a woman. And the new sexy-blond-but-really-not-such-a-great-actor woman does actually have a prominent feature in the plot – she’s more than just traditional Startrek woman in a tight outfit. Can’t say this is helping the PC case. Gee, this is becoming a long paragraph – better start a new one.
    Talking of PC, there is the token black family at the beginning and the other starship captain. Now Uhura fawning over Spock? For half the film she hates him, and they only get one short PDA in the whole thing. I think.
    Anyways, the film. So you think it is a carbon copy of every other sci-fi? How many films are there where the heavily armed main ship doesn’t fire so much as a single shot? I think they avoided having an overly obvious story quite nicely, although I won’t say that it wasn’t predictable. A pretty good job is done with character development, the humour is judged correctly and there are many young attractive people with dazzling blue eyes. What more do you want? Benedict Cumberbatch? Oh, wait he is already there. STID is reasonably well written, well acted and pretty looking. It isn’t perfect, but it definitely better than most films.

    PS: And for those who love lens flare, you’ll probably love the next Star Wars films.

  2. emeraldhorn

    I have to side with Birdy and agree to disagree with the blogger. I am a die-hard trekkie so I’ve seen every series and every episode so I can objectively say, alternate universe and all, j.j. abrams’s star trek films kick a$$. I love them! I’m so grateful and happy that both movies turned out to be quite the super-kick-a$$ films they are. I happen to LOVE that Spock and Uhura are kissing. In fact, I hope Spock comes down with punfar in the next film 😉
    I agree with Birdy. What more can you ask for than a great script, talented actors, stunning visual effects, and a brilliant music score? Thumbs up for Abrams 😀


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